Epilogue

In the months that followed, many changes took place – some good, some small, some big. It was a tumultuous time for everyone – Samantha, especially.

Their 31st birthday arrived too soon after she lost her brother for Samantha to enjoy it. There wasn’t much of a celebration, but she, Carol, Richie and Katie went to Red’s in honor of James. Samantha felt it only fitting to do so since that was the last plan she and her brother had made for their birthday, and since she’d never eat there with him again, it was almost in honorary tribute to him. The meal was not without tears, though, for the staff there knew the twins and when they sang their happy birthday song, they asked why James wasn’t there. Samantha could hardly bear to tell them, and she was positive it would be the most depressing birthday of her life.

She and Katie talked frequently after James’ death and still remained friends. Katie had confided to Sam that she would have married James, and in fact was ready to tell him so at the party that night. And, she confessed in tears, she was never truly mad with him for proposing to begin with; she just wanted him to be serious about it and mean what he said. Samantha assured her he was serious, and that he had loved her with all his heart.

Christmas was harder than their birthday in some ways – though the rest of the family visited as usual, it was bittersweet and poignant. Everyone knew Christmas had been James’ favorite holiday, and thoughts were on him all day as they played games, ate, talked, and carried on family holiday traditions without him. The only saving grace for Samantha that day was that Richie had spent it with her and her family, and everyone’s interest in a new person helped ease the pain of the absence of another temporarily.

For Samantha personally, life took another unexpected turn. Michael Flanham announced his retirement at the end of the year, and offered his editor-in-chief position to her. She was surprised and flattered – the new job would mean a nearly 10% increase in salary, more vacation time…and almost double the work.

Though she was honored, in the end she turned down the offer and went a step even further in making the decision to leave Dream. It wasn’t that she was unhappy with her job, but life had taught her so much lately that she realized it was more important than ever to appreciate life, love, and make the most of one’s time on Earth. There were so many things she had to do and experience, and she wanted to venture out and taste more of the world before it was too late to do so.

After the start of the new year, she and the dogs moved out of her apartment in Manhattan and into Richie’s spacious house in Red Bank. The dogs felt at home instantly – they had a considerably larger home and romping ground, and for the first time, they had a yard to play and run around in. Samantha liked living with someone again, and Richie adored having her around. She took a couple of months off, traveling around with the band and seeing the sights, finally getting to travel the world like she had always wanted to, before she began wondering what to do next career-wise.

Now it was mid-May, nearly a year since Samantha had lost her brother, and despite a relatively cool Spring, it was unusually hot for New Jersey. Strangely enough, though, no one was complaining – Bon Jovi stadium concerts were often associated with heat and summer.

Earlier, she had enjoyed watching the bustle and excitement of behind-the-scenes; it was a new experience for her and she soaked it all in. Jon was in a fantastic mood that day as he chugged tiny bottles of ginseng and laughed with Obie; Tico and Dave fired witty dialogue at each other as they worked with the sound crew; and Richie hummed as he tuned his guitars.

Samantha fit right in and became one of them as she talked, laughed, and joked along with everyone, and the crew adored her.

Now, the late afternoon sun beat down as her as she made her way around to the back of the stage. She stopped at the crew table for a bottle of water and eased her thirst as she saw Richie round the corner and smile when he saw her.

“There you are,” he said. “We need you for sound check. Are you ready?”

Samantha nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry, I just went for a little walk to shake some of these nerves.”

Richie cocked his head. “You’re nervous again?”

Samantha blushed. “Hey, can you blame me? This place holds like fifty thousand people!”

“Try over eighty thousand, baby,” Richie winked.

Samantha choked on her water. “Seriously?”

“Yes, and we’re sold out,” Richie said matter-of-factly as he pressed his hand to the small of her back and steered her toward a door on the side of the building.

“Oh yeah…” Samantha whispered weakly as she allowed herself to be moved. “Sold out.”

They all moved through rehearsal and sound check flawlessly, Jon reminding everyone that tonight was to be the biggest finale night ever, and they’d kick the audience’s asses even if it killed them in the process. He was full of fire and determination, and Samantha knew they were in for one epic night.

The show had sold out in record time, despite a small lapse in the tour following the end of the band’s European circuit. Fans were already lined up outside, camping out with blankets and umbrellas, laughing, talking, eating and drinking, and Samantha felt strange to be on the inside looking out, instead of the other way around. She recognized some people in the fan club line, and she knew Alex was there with some of their mutual friends. Carol would be arriving later with Katie, and Samantha had made sure to leave all of their tickets at will-call.

Before she knew it, the stadium was packed, every seat filled and every square inch of the standing field occupied by a body as the opening band took the stage. Samantha waited backstage with Obie as Richie, Jon, Dave, and Tico finalized their preparations and went over last-minute chord progressions. There were bottles of water and clothing changes just outside the door leading to the stage entry, and as Samantha’s eyes fell on Jon’s baby blue tank, it brought her back to the night it had all started. She smiled, remembering the astonishment she and Alex felt at being asked backstage, the feeble and adorable excuses Richie made up for wanting to meet them, the long and mind-boggling dinner afterward, and the electric exchange Richie and Samantha had shared earlier which brought them there in the first place. It was hard to believe that was a year and a half ago.

“Five minutes, guys,” Obie held up his hand to signal to the band to take their places. It was still relatively light outside, but the stage lights went out regardless, helping to hide the band members as they strolled out onto the stage several minutes later. The roar of the crowd was deafening, and Samantha tried not to think of the view from the stage.

The band launched into Lost Highway as usual, the instruments and Jon and Richie’s voices filling every corner of the stadium as the crowd jumped, danced, and sang along. As they closed up the song, the applause and screams swelled to a roar once again and Samantha could hear Jon speaking in the microphone.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, good evening! And welcome to Giants Stadium, my home away from home.” The screams sounded again, and Samantha could just picture Jon’s wide grin.

“As you all know, it’s the last night of our tour, and we want to thank each and every one of you for being with us tonight. It’s been one hell of a ride, as usual, and you’re in for a treat tonight, I can assure you. We’re going to play some oldies, some goodies, some new stuff, and everything in between, so get ready.”

There was more screaming and cheering.

“I’m going to stop talking and get this show on the road, but I just have one question…are you with me tonight?”

Samantha laughed as the roar seemed to get even louder than ever, and the stage exploded once again in music.

As they moved through the songs and Jon flirted mercilessly with the crowd, Samantha tried to relax. She downed about three bottles of water, then got paranoid and nervous and used the bathroom multiple times to ensure she wouldn’t have a problem later. The sky slowly darkened as night fell, and the stage lights gradually got brighter and more intense. Even from her vantage point, Samantha could tell it was one wicked show tonight, and she hoped Alex, Katie, and her mom were having fun.

Finally, about an hour and a half into the show, the band slowed things down and Samantha knew it was time. She heard Jon begin to talk, and a crew member passed her, carrying a black microphone stand out onto the stage. At Obie’s nod, she climbed the steps to the back of the stage and took her place. And as she did so, she was able to finally see the band and catch a tiny, obscured glimpse of the massive crowd beyond the stage.

“…we have a very special surprise for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Many of you know my good friend Richie here,” Jon gestured to the guitarist, who tipped his hat and smiled as screams erupted. “And the fact that he has a very special lady friend. Fantastic woman, too – we’ve all grown to adore her and love her and she fits right in with our little extended family perfectly.” Samantha blushed and smiled, and listened to the interested murmurings from the crowd. This is it, she thought. Time to face the music. Literally.

“She also has one hell of a voice,” Jon went on. “And we heard her sing for the first time last year, and it blew our minds. To make a long story short, we asked her to sing with us on tour, and she obliged, but due to extenuating circumstances, she has been unable to do so…until now. But tonight, she will accompany me on a special duet, so please, without further ado, put your hands together for Miss Samantha West.”

There was polite applause and cheering, and Samantha gathered the last of her courage, took a deep breath, and stepped out into the bright lights. She could see the crowd fully now, and she had to fight to keep her face passive, though she was astounded at the sight of how many faces there were watching her. Jon was turned toward her with a smile on his lips, Tico and Dave watched her and winked, and Richie beamed and met her halfway, giving her a big hug right onstage.

“You can do it,” he whispered in her ear. “I believe in you.”

Samantha laughed nervously in his ear. “Thanks, Rich.”

She moved toward Jon, who hugged her as well and nodded at her encouragingly. She took her place at the microphone stand and faced the crowd, suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed, but certain, without a doubt, that she wanted – needed – to do this. She looked out and saw eighty thousand faces looking back at her, cameras flashing and cell phone lights blinking in the air, and nerves exploded in the pit of her stomach at the sheer size of her audience. She looked down and saw her mother, Katie, and Alex in the front row, and that gave her confidence, even if the one person she wanted so desperately to be there wasn’t there with them.

Nobody in the audience knew what song they were going to sing, and the band had chosen something different from the original plan at Samantha’s request. The soft, gentle chords of the keyboard sounded behind her and she saw Richie begin to strum the strings on his guitar to her right. She closed her eyes, drew a deep breath, opened her mouth, and began to sing.

It’s hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There’s no one here but you and me
And this broken old streetlight

The words glided out beautifully, and goosebumps rose on her arms as she heard her own voice fill every corner of the stadium.

Lock the doors, leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Jon chimed in then, and they sang the words in unison:

Thank you…
For loving me
For being my eyes…
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips…
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

She stepped away from the microphone slightly as Jon took over with his throaty, raw vocals.

I never knew I had a dream, until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes, the sky’s a different blue
Cross my heart, I wear no disguise
If I tried, you’d make believe that you believed my lies

Samantha joined him for the chorus, and she heard Richie begin to sing as well, his deep, rich, soulful voice balancing both of them beautifully.

Thank you…
For loving me
For being my eyes…
When I couldn’t see
For parting my lips…
When I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

The next part was a duet exchange, where she was supposed to sing one line and Jon would sing the next and so on for the entire verse. Samantha began to sing, but Jon stayed silent and Richie filled in for him. Samantha was surprised and looked sideways at him, but he merely smiled, and suddenly she knew that Jon had told him to do it. It made more sense for them to sing those words to each other.

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was crying, you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Lock the doors, leave the world outside
All I’ve got to give to you
Are these five words tonight

Samantha’s heart swelled, and she poured out her soul into the song, thinking of the intense meaning of the words, and giving it everything she had to finish it up.

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes – oh, when I couldn’t see
For parting my lips when I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
When I couldn’t fly – oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips when I couldn’t breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you…
For loving me

Oh, for loving me…

The keyboard and guitar slowed to the closing chords, but they barely finished before the crowd exploded. Samantha smiled widely as applause, cheers, screams, catcalls and whistles rang in her ears, and she blushed.

Jon pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek, and when Richie pulled her into another hug and kissed her in front of all of Giants Stadium, she was filled with an overwhelming joy and pride.

She had done it. She had performed a song live in front of thousands of people, something she never in her life thought she’d do. And by the crowd’s reaction, she had done it well.

And though it wasn’t very easy to see, Samantha could tell there were tears falling down her mother’s face, and she caught a glance of Alex, who was holding her hand at her heart and smiling proudly. Samantha smiled back, knowing that they understood that the song wasn’t just for Richie.

It was for James, too.