The drive to the hospital normally took about ten minutes from Sam’s apartment, but in this weather, it had already been close to twenty. It felt like an hour to Samantha, who was using all her self-restraint not to jump in the driver’s seat and take over.
When they finally reached the hospital, Samantha bolted out of the cab and tore through the pouring rain, splashing through puddles and soaking the entire bottom half of her sweatpants, which she had thrown on in a hurry at her apartment. She burst through the double doors in the emergency room, and raced up to the front desk.
“James West,” she gasped. “Where is James West?”
The receptionist looked up at her. “Are you immediate family?
“Yes, I'm his twin sister!”
“I’m sorry but he is with the doctor and nurses right now. You may wait down there if you’d like,” she pointed down a hallway on their right. “His girlfriend is there.”
Samantha rushed down the hallway, slowing as she came upon a special room – it was neither a waiting room nor a hospital room, but someplace else. A small television hung from the ceiling in the corner, and fluorescent lights shone coldly overhead. Blue-cushioned bench seats lined the two walls, and a small end table sat littered with magazines.
Samantha got goosebumps as she entered. The room was empty except for Katie, who sat on one of the benches.
“What happened?” Samantha rushed up to her. “What’s going on? Where is he?
Katie’s eyes were red and her face ghostly white.
“He’s…he’s in with the doctors,” she broke down and fell against Sam, who instinctively wrapped her arms around her and held her. Katie shook violently as heavy sobs overtook her.
“I don’t know what happened,” she choked through her tears. “He was perfectly fine before we left…hell, he was perfectly fine five minutes before it happened! He just…went kind of rigid…it was so weird…he wasn’t moving…”
Samantha felt her blood run cold. “Rigid? Wasn’t moving? Katie, tell me what happened.”
Katie swiped at her eyes and took a shaky breath. “We – we were driving home from the party and he was fine. We were talking and laughing, and I made sure I asked him before we left if he was awake enough to drive. He said yes…so he can’t have fallen asleep…” she started to cry again. Samantha urged her on.
“I don’t know, I just was talking to him about something and then I noticed he hadn’t said anything. So I looked over at him and he was staring straight ahead, like a zombie. His hands were on the steering wheel, but the road was starting to curve slightly and he wasn’t adjusting it. I said his name out loud and asked if he was okay, and he didn’t answer. We were going around sixty, and I started to panic. I said his name louder, and he still didn’t answer, so I grabbed the wheel and somehow was able to move it over to the shoulder…he didn’t respond or shift the wheel back, so I jerked the emergency brake. He shot forward, but thank GOD he was wearing his seatbelt, and the airbag inflated, so he didn’t hit his head.” Katie took a shuddering breath.
“But I was freaking out, and I kept calling his name and he didn’t answer. So I called 911, and within ten minutes, police cars and an ambulance got there. The paramedics asked me what happened, but when I described it, they didn’t even seem to be listening…they just whisked him away on a gurney and put an oxygen mask over his face…and they told me to get in the ambulance, so I did…” she trailed off.
Samantha stared at her with wide eyes, horror rising inside. Realizing her mouth had gone dry she tried to swallow and looked over at Richie, who had been very quiet. He looked over at her, concern clouding his dark brown eyes.
“That’s all I know, Sam,” Katie moaned. “They won’t tell me anything else.”
She drew another shaky breath and tried to calm down.
Samantha’s heart was racing. What had happened? A million questions ran through her mind. He had been driving and then suddenly just went blank? Was he unconscious? She hated not knowing what was going on – and more than anything she wanted to see James.
“Can’t you talk to a nurse or someone?” she asked desperately.
“No one knows anything – he’s just in that room with the doctors, they rushed him in there and closed the doors. They looked so serious. They told me to wait here, so I called you as soon as I could.” Katie’s face was contorted with worry and stress, her normally beautiful features paled and rigid.
Samantha covered her face with her hands in an attempt to calm down.
Lord, please let him be okay, she prayed silently.
A nurse in a white outfit and mask hustled by the room, and Samantha ran out after her hopefully. “Excuse me? Are you with the patient James West? I’m his sister, Samantha West – I have to know if he’s all right.”
The nurse looked frazzled. “Yes, I’m one of the attending nurses with him, but I don’t have any authority to give you any information.”
“Oh, please can you just tell me…” Samantha started frantically.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t,” the nurse replied, turning to leave. “We’re in with him now. Please just wait in here and I’ll have the doctor come out to talk to you when he can.” She turned and hurried back down the hall.
Samantha watched her go, wanting to scream out and burst into tears at the same time. She just wanted some answers! She returned to the room and sank into the bench seat, sick to her stomach. Richie sat down next to her and put an arm around her, pulling her close.
“I think we just need to wait, sweetheart. Someone will let us know what’s happening soon.”
Samantha felt tears sting her eyes. “He’s my brother, Richie – I can’t stand not knowing what’s going on.”
“I know baby, but all we can do right now is wait.”
“Wait,” Samantha repeated, almost in a whisper. “Right.”
_____________________________
Samantha didn’t know how much time passed, but it felt like an eternity. She couldn’t think. Couldn’t concentrate. She didn’t know what was happening, didn’t know if her brother would be okay, wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to hunt down a doctor – any doctor – and demand answers.
In years to come, Samantha would always remember everything about the waiting room, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember the face of the doctor who eventually arrived, accompanied by a hospital counselor. All she would remember is the cold terror and sudden dizziness she felt when they appeared. She jumped to her feet, as did Richie and Katie, and took a second to find her voice before she could use it.
“How is he?”
The doctor looked sad and weary. “Are you James West’s sister? The nurse told me she was in here.”
“Yes I am. How is my brother?”
“I hate to be the one to tell you this,” he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “but we think your brother suffered an aneurysm….”
Samantha’s heart stopped. Trying to steady herself, she stared at the doctor’s mask, which was pulled down from his mouth and splattered with flecks of blood.
“…it’s rare in someone this young, but he had a blood clot that we think actually formed a few days ago, and it reached his brain…”
Samantha continued to stare at him. There was a rushing in her ears, and though she could feel blood crashing through her veins, her heart felt as if it had frozen. Her skin was still clammy, and her feet were rooted to the floor.
“…there was really nothing we could do…I’m so sorry…he didn’t make it.”
A heavy silence followed his words.
“Jesus,” Richie finally muttered, bringing a hand to his face and looking down at the floor.
Katie sank back down onto the bench weakly as she brought her hands to her mouth. “Oh…no…,” she said. “No…no…”
The room closed in around Samantha, and she struggled to breathe. What did he mean, ‘he didn’t make it’? None of this made sense. James couldn’t be gone. He was fine. He was healthy. He had to be. They were just talking that afternoon. They were going to Red’s next month for their birthday.
The doctor seemed to be in shock himself as he continued to attempt an explanation. Samantha stared at him numbly, light-headed and nauseas.
This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real. It had to be a nightmare. A freakish, blood-curdling, horrifying and terrible nightmare.
But it wasn’t.
“Can I see him?” she suddenly croaked out.
The doctor looked relieved to not have to explain any more. “Of course.”
________________________
Samantha was numb as she stepped down the corridor. Richie walked at her side, saying nothing; Katie walked half a step behind them, stifling her sobs as best she could. The doctor followed them silently. He was a good man, and this was obviously difficult for him.
Samantha didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t digest the doctor’s words: to her numb brain, they made absolutely no sense. He must have made a mistake, she thought. James West was actually the patient in the next room over. The doctor was talking about someone else’s family member, someone else’s twin brother. Someone else’s other half. Maybe it was a man too, named James, and the doctor, in a bout of late-night exhaustion, confused the two. Yeah, that had to be it.
The doctor stopped outside a room near the intensive care unit, and Samantha’s heart leapt at the idea of finding someone else other than James inside.
“That’s not him!” she’d cry. “That’s not James West!” Her heart would be filled with hope again, and the doctor would apologize profusely for the confusion.
“I’m so sorry,” he’d say. “I don’t know how we could make such a mistake.”
He’d lead her into a recovery room, where she’d find her brother, sitting up on a bed, in one of those hospital gowns he’d always hated, his head bandaged and his arms stuck with IV’s, but perfectly fine. “Hey sis,” he’d smile. “Some adventure, eh?”
The doctor’s words shook her from her hopes. “I had him moved here, so you could have some privacy,” he looked at Samantha, his face grim. “Take all the time you need. I’m so sorry.”
Richie put his hand on Samantha’s shoulder. “You should go first,” he said softly. “We’ll wait out here.”
Samantha barely heard him. She reached for the cold door handle, her hand trembling. The door was heavy, and she strained to open it, but somehow she succeeded and pushed it forward slowly.
Inside, she stared at the figure on the bed. He lay still, clothed in a plain white gown, his head heavily bandaged, but nothing was around him. There were no monitors, no IV’s, absolutely nothing except his dressings to suggest he had been in the hospital all night.
His arms lay stiffly at his side, looking unnatural, as if they’d been placed that way by someone who didn’t know him. His face was so peaceful, as if he were dreaming…he had looked this way a thousand times before. The way he looked whenever he dozed off on the couch at her place when they had movie night…whenever he was still asleep when she’d drag him out at 3AM for Black Friday shopping every year…whenever she’d run into his room during thunderstorms when they were little and he’d fall asleep holding her safe, protecting her…
Samantha’s throat tightened and everything went black…everything except the figure of her brother, unmoving and silent. He was the only thing she could see, but she didn’t want to see him like this. Not this way. Not with his head wrapped up. Not in some cold hospital bed on a violently stormy night. He was supposed to be at his apartment, snuggling in a warm bed with Katie, alive and breathing, his heart beating strongly. He was supposed to call her the next day; they’d talk and laugh and tease each other about stupid things. He was only thirty. He was healthy and strong and young. She loved him; he was her brother. He was her life.
Samantha couldn’t breathe.
Slowly, as if she were underwater, she moved toward the bed. She stared at his face determinedly, as if willing him to move and prove the doctor wrong. For him to suddenly open his eyes and wink, yell “Psyche!” and pull Samantha into a bone-breaking hug. For him to move…just move…
But James was still. His hazel eyes were closed, no longer full of life and playfulness. Samantha bit her lip, still refusing to cry, for that would mean it was real. She brought her hand to his face, gently brushing the back of her fingers down his cold cheek.
She touched his hand, daring to hope that the pale, cold skin would come to life beneath her touch. Emotions swelled inside her like a rising tide as she finally realized the awful truth, and tears filled her eyes as she intertwined her fingers with his, gazing with blurred vision at his face.
“Oh James…” she whispered, gasping for breath.
It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t a mistake. She knew that now, and she collapsed heavily to her knees, her insides writhing…she shook violently, and sobbed in bitter, wild desperation on the cold hospital floor.
Her brother was gone.
10 comments:
OH Becky!
I am so crying.. Not James!! :(
noooo not james:(
He cant be dead!
OK... teary eyed and sniffling... great writing... eyes still blury.. be back later
Oh god. That was so sad. What a terrible thing to have happen to someone so young. How will Sam carry on without her brother James. And I wonder if this will set her back in her relationship with Richie. God I hope not. These two need a break.
Great chapter. I had tears in my eyes while reading. You nailed it good & the writing was fabulous.
Looking forward to more.
Colleen
*sniffle* Thank you everyone...I cried my eyes out writing that myself. Oy. And it's been planned since the beginning, so I teared up when I first wrote it, but then after James became so real...oh man, it was hard. Thank you so much for the feedback, I appreciate knowing what I did well and what I can improve on, especially in this chapter. Stay tuned!
OMG! Nooooo! :( I'm sad now.
Becky sweety how emotional this chapter is. I cried my eyes out. My hubby thinks I am more nuts now than before(if that is possible). I know Richie will help her through all of this. Great, Great chapter. Thank you.
Thanks again, everyone. :) Your feedback truly does help me and I REALLY enjoy reading it, whether positive or negative. The next chapter is coming soon, don't go away!
James is gone and I am really crying right now!!! I hope it's a nightmare and James isn't really dead! Poor Samantha how will she move on? I hope Richie can help Samantha thru this very rough patch in her life.
Great Story, Becky!
I'm speechless and so sad.....
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